While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

Henny Youngman, Comedian

Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.

Chi Chi Rodriguez, Golfer

And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Carl Spackler, Greenskeeper